South Park High
by Evangeline Dixon
Summary: A series of interlocking one shots based on my headcannons and themes from the show.
1. Chapter 1

**So. Much. Fluff.**

**It's late.**

* * *

"What do you mean you still haven't fucked?!"  
Kenny McCormick leant against the row of red locked lining the school halls, quickly being hushed by Stan Marsh who was pulling on his 'South Park Cows' Letterman jacket.  
"Dude! Shut up!" His blue eyes darted nervously around for any of Wendy's friends, those girls were like harpies.  
"I'm just saying you've been together since third grade, how are you not hitting that?" Pattering along behind Stan, Kenny continued to annoy him.  
"Well," He stopped, scratching the back of his head as red crawled into his cheeks, "We've done stuff,"  
Surreptitiously Kenny sniffed his fingers.  
"Fuck you Kenny! That's my girlfriend you're talking about," Stan strode away, his sneakers squeaking on the linoleum.  
Kenny laughed and ran to catch up.  
"Maybe she's a dyke man!" Stan's response was to push him into a row of locked with a clatter.  
Stan had starting working out the first time Wendy dumped him, hoping that it might bring her back. Now, aged seventeen, he was the well-built quarterback for The Cows and by far the most athletic of his friends. He could crush Kenny like a bug if he wanted to.  
"Okay, okay, you really need to get laid," Ken threw his hands up in defense, idly rubbing his back he again caught up to Stan.  
"Don't you have somewhere you need to be Ken?"  
"Art, but I can't be fucked with that today so i thought I'd come watch you do your thing," He rubbed his permanently red eyes, "Plus there's all the girls in short skirts,"  
Suddenly Kenny tore off down the hall down to the double doors they had worked towards. He tackled someone at the other end, lifting them over his shoulder with a high-pitched scream and a failing of arms and legs.  
"Put me down!" Wendy Testaburger yelled, her tiny skirt had risen up to show off her white gym knickers and her hand clutched two green and white pom-poms that she used to assault Kenny's back.  
Finally Kenny released her and she stumbled back with a huff of annoyance. Kenny however, mimed grabbing her breasts and winked.  
"Come on Wendy, you've got to start liking me sometime," He growled.  
She replied by flipping him off.  
Then she caught sight of Stan and a huge grin shone across her face, she pranced down the hall and into his muscular arms.  
"So it's fine when he does it," Kenny huffed before darting outside to get a good view of the girls.  
Stan lifted Wendy off the ground, swinging her from side to side. Eventually he placed her back on the floor, lifting her chin to place a gentle kiss on her lips. She purred.  
"Why are you even friend with him Stan? There are so many more, mature, intelligent people," They began to walk side by side outdoors as they ambled towards the playing field. Stan's arm wrapped tightly around his petite girlfriend's shoulders.  
"Leave it Wend, we've been friends since third grade, I love that douche," He laughed as he spotted Kenny already talking to a pair of busty girls by the playing fields, they exchanged worried glances as Kenny insisted that 'no woman was impervious to his charms.' "Besides, he's smarter than you give him credit for."  
She shook her head dismissively, raven hair glinting in the sunlight, slicked back into a sporty ponytail.  
"Whatever," She sighed. "I'm glad they let us swap gym for practice, more time with you."  
They approached the field and she smiled up and him, he leaned down and pressed his forehead to hers, resting his thumbs on the base of her neck with the rest of his hands spilling over her shoulders. Wendy twisted a finger around his belt loop and yanked him closer to her, giggling. Stan fought a wave of 'I'm the luckiest guy in the world' nausea before pecking her gently on her rosy lips, she and him flushed pink.  
"It's nearly time for me to go," Stan announced, glancing at his watch and then the field. His coach was poised with a whistle in his mouth, beckoning him over with exaggerated hand gestures.  
Stan turned back to Wendy, she was leaning forward, tying the lace of her white tennis shoes. Stan's eyes trailed longingly from the nape of her neck, over the curve of her back to rest at the orbs of her ass. He sighed.  
Wendy straightened out and he snapped back to reality, he rolled off his jacket and swung it round her shoulders, enveloping her in a sporty cocoon. Using the jacket lapels her pulled tighter and she gravitated towards him, smashing his lips against her in a passionate and fiery 'good-luck' kiss.  
Then, he ran onto the pitch, sparing one last look at Wendy as she jumped up and down, her small perky breasts going with her and kicked a long, tan, leg up in the air, shaking her 'pom-poms' enthusiastically.  
He really was the luckiest guy in the world.


	2. Cheerleading

Wendy threw her pom-poms up in air, screaming her head off as the game ended. Her hair flew out behind her as she sprinted towards her boyfriend. He turned at the last second, breaking away from the cries of his team-mates to throw out his arms and catch her as she leapt into his arms.

Stan held her back as she wrapped both legs around his waist, laughing as he swung her around, feeling the other cheerleaders jump around and squeal. He was grinning until he spotted Kenny from the stand, staring happily at Wendy's ass. He furrowed his brow and dropped his hand to yank her skirt down other her gym shorts.

Finally he placed her down and she crashed her lips against his, he mumbled and pushed her gently away by the shoulders as Token and Clyde threw themselves onto his back.

She smiled softly and began to retreat, she knew that Stan needed to be with his friends sometimes, she couldn't have him all the time. She retreated into the throng of cheerleaders around her, signaling to Stan that she would see him at his house later.

"You're so lucky Wend," Red sighed dreamily, staring at Stan as he was dragged away.

Later on, Stan sat in his room strumming a nonsensical song on his guitar. He had began learning after his 'guitar hero phase', Randy offered to teach him after Stan finally clocked on that girl's found that shit hot.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door, Stan jerked, looking down at his shirt. He was wearing his green 'South Park Cows' football t-shirt and a pair of faded jeans. Quizzically, he smelt the shirt. Eh, couldn't be more then two days.

Not that it mattered, Wendy turned up in the same outfit he had seen her in two hours ago, her cheerleading outfit.

"Hey," Wendy grinned, shifting from one foot to the other, eagerly.

"Hi there," Stan smirked, leaning against the doorpost.

Wendy strolled though the door, her hips swinging like a pendulum. Smiling like ten year old, Stan shook his head and closed the front door. He followed her upstairs and into his room.

"You been at the guitar again Stan?" Wendy flopped down on the bed, her skirt riding up and showing her smooth, dark thigh.

Stan swallowed. A long pause followed as he pulled his eyes from her legs. He nodded.

She rolled over, propping her head up with her hand, her amber eyes interrupted by a flutter of dark lashes.

"Play me something?"

Stan sighed, he knew he was good but he hated to show off. However, on the other hand, he would do anything to impress Wendy.

Half way through the chorus of 'Carry on My Wayward Son' she turned his face toward her and kissed him.

Slowly Stan lowered the guitar to the floor and placed his hand on the waist of his girlfriend, clutching at the patch of bare skin between her cropped green top and pleated white shirt. She mumbled softly into his mouth and he smiled, breaking the kiss. Her hand snaked up into his black, shaggy hair, gripping it tightly as she pulled him back towards her.

He widened his eyes, it was always Wendy taking the lead. Stan steadied himself by placing his hands on her shoulders. Wendy trailed her hand down from his hair, across his strong jawline, down to his sternum. Beginning to apply pressure, Stan began to get the hint, he reclined backwards, allowing Wendy to swing her leg to the other side of Stan's waist.

Wendy wrapped her hands around Stan's neck and nibbled on his bottom lip, he whimpered slightly and slid his hands down the curve of her back. Slipping the tip of his finger under the waistband of her skirt, feeling the silky material of her underwear and his heart began to race when she purred against his throat.

"Oh God," Stan muttered against the curve of her shoulder as Wendy tightened her thighs against him.

He was very aware of her hand trailing down south, rolling up the bottom of his shirt and dragging her nails over his chest. Releasing Wendy's hip for a moment, Stan reached backwards and dragged his shirt over his head.

Like a magnet he was draw back to the taste of Wendy's lips, his hands crawled towards her pert breasts, confined in her tight top.

She flipped her hair over her shoulder, the long, black tresses, floated over her soft skin. She crossed her arms and clutched her top, pulling it up till it revealed the curve of her breast. Stan was pleased to see that under the cheerleading outfit, she wasn't wearing a bra.

With a well placed leg, Stan wrapped his leg around her's and rolled towards her, flipping her onto her back with a shriek. He curled one arm around her head, putting his mouth next to her ear.

"No," He whispered, smiling into her ear as he lay, trapping her. It was his turn to take control, "Keep it on,"


	3. Fights

"Argh!" Stan threw himself towards Craig who took a neat step back.

Quickly Kyle hooked his arms under his best friend and yanked him backwards.

It had been seven years but Craig and Stan still despised each other and unfortunately Craig knew just how easily he could rile Stan up. This was one of those days.

The school yard was filled with a multitude of eager boys waiting for a fight, whispering to their friends and placing bets on the favorite to win; and a flurry of swooning girls ready to tend wounds.

"Calm down kid," Craig grinned slyly as Stan writhed agitatedly, finally breaking free of Kyle. He whipped round and shoved the ginger kid with both hands, Kyle held up both hands in defeat.

Kyle didn't want to see his friend get his ass beat again. Stan might be star quarterback but Craig was vicious when he wanted to be most people stayed away from him bar Tweek, Token, Clyde and Red.

"Don't call me a fucking kid, Craig!" Stan rushed up to Craig, unaware of the circle forming around him, he shoved a finger accusingly in Craig's direction. Craig laughed loudly which aggravated Stan even more.

He growled lowly in his throat and Kyle turned and left.

"At least I'm not training my pet to give me oral sex," Stan snickered, crossing his arms.

It was a childish thing for him to make up but there were only three things that could break Craig's deadpan insults and that was one of them.

Craig bristled and squared up to Stan both of them staring each other down. Even though Craig was taller than Stan, Stan didn't back down.

"Fuck off Marsh," Craig spat, "At least I'm not training my best friend to give me oral sex,"

A collective gasp followed by a stretching silence fell around the group as each individual glanced around for Kyle, but he was long gone, knowing he would be dragged into it.

Stan shoved Craig who barely stumbled.

A girl pushed her way into the circle, her flaming hair falling down past her shoulders.

"For fucks sake!" Red barked her hands on her hips. "Not this shit again,"

Both boys glanced briefly at the authoritative girl stood between them. It was well known that Red used to have a crush on Stan but that was stamped out with the confirmation of his relationship with Wendy and everyone knew that if you even looked at Red funny then you would be sat with Craig Tucker outside the principles office in no time.

"Fuck off Red," Craig said through his teeth.

Her tiny red mouth opened in protest. Swiftly Craig took her by the shoulders, turning her away as he spoke to her in inaudible whispers.

"Craig!" Was the only word anyone was able to make out before Red lost her patience, left and was sucked into the crowd.

"Rough time with your girlfriend Tucker?" Stan had calmed down and was back to making witty remarks to the delight of his 'side'

Craig's shoulders rose until they were locked up around his ears. If Stan could see he would know that Craig's face had crumpled into a snarl. The taller boy turned, took three large steps, drew back his arm and slammed into Stan's nose.

Stan fell backwards, hitting the floor with his ass.

Breathing heavily, Craig stripped off his blue jacket to reveal a yellow shirt underneath with the tiny sleeves rolled up. He ripped his hat from his head and flicked it to the ground, his muscle flexing as he raised his arm. Craig didn't like sport, but he liked to stay in shape.

By the time he had finished Stan had dragged himself up from the ground, dabbed his bloody nose and flung himself towards Craig.

Reaching up, Craig caught Stan's thrown out fist by the arm. Moving backwards to support the added weight, Craig grabbed the other arm that was flying towards him. With both arms locked and the sound of whooping children loud in his ears Stan did the only thing he could, he smashed his head into Craig's.

Once his arm was released he slammed his curved knuckle into Craig's brow bone, hearing a satisfying crack as Craig melting to the ground, dazed.

Stan watch, his chest heaving as Craig tried to get to his feet, drunk with disorientation.

Before Stan knew it, Craig had pounced with a growl, he threw himself onto Stan and now they were both on the floor.

As the boys continued their brawl, Wendy Testaburger left the school building. She shrieked upon seeing her boyfriend on the ground, Craig Tucker repeatedly punching him in the gut and face, her cry was lost in the clamor of the crowd. Attempting to run to his aid she was stopped by a meaty arm around her delicate waist.

"Oh no you don't" Cartman laughed as he held her squirming body in place.

"Cartman I will fucking kill you!" She yelled, kicking her tiny legs as Cartman secured her in place with another arm.

Wendy watched as Stan managed to puncture Craig's lip, now he was blinking blood from his eyes as it dribbled down from his brow and spitting it from his mouth.

She couldn't help admit a little "yes!" with excitement. Cartman noticed this with disappointment.

"Fuck him up Craig!" Cartman yelled over the cries of others.

Craig turned, Stan's shirt clutched in his scarlet fist, and grinned upon seeing Wendy.

"Dude what the hell?!" Stan questioned when he traced the perpetrator of the comment.

Wendy had seen Stan beat people up before, she'd also tended his wounds in the bathroom after he'd been the one beaten. She'd heard him wince as she dabbed at his cuts and felt him deflate as he watched her give him a sympathetic smile.

"Craig Tucker!" She screamed as Craig sat on top of Stan, pulling the fist full of shirt towards him as he drew back his fist, ready to strike. "If you hit him again I swear I will fucking kill you!"

Craig stiffened, he saw what Wendy did to Cartman. She all but put him in the hospital. After a moment of deliberation, Craig let go of Stan's shirt, leaving a blood hand print of he retreated, breathless.

Stan pinched the bridge of his nose, saved by his fucking girlfriend again. If he looked like a pussy when he lost a fight, he didn't even want to think about how he looked now.


	4. Angry Drunk

"Aww man," Kyle placed his head in his hands.

The throb of the party pounded in the back of Kyle's head as he chatted to Kenny.

"He's already had three," Kenny laughed, Bebe hanging off her arm. He gave her a disapproving flick and she moved away.

"Three?! Shit," Kyle sighed, "Just don't let him have anymore okay?"

Kenny was too busy staring at Bebe like she was hiding gold in her sweater, Kyle had a feeling he wasn't really listening.

"Hmm?" He glanced up at Kyle, his hand snaking round the Bebe's back. Kyle watched as she jumped slightly and turn pink.

"For Christs sake Ken," Kyle shook his curly locks as he moved away from the sluttiest couple in the world, pre-ejaculations lasted longer than their relationships.

Kyle snaked through the party, tugging occasionally at his checked shirt. Stepping backwards he avoided the stream of sick cascading from Red's mouth.

She retched violently and swiped her mouth with the back of her hand, not concerned about the flecks of sick dotting her ankles.

"Fuck, are you okay?" Kyle tentatively put a hand on her back.

She looked up and grinned at him, clearly paralytic.

"Oh my God guys, it's Kyle," She grabbed him by the arm and stumbled into him. Holding her steady, he allowed himself to be dragged into the middle of Red's 'circle'.

"Just the virgin we need!" She seemed elated.

Kyle gave her a small push and watch as Craig reached out a hand and caught her, murmuring "Stupid girl," under his breath.

"Who says I'm a virgin?!" Kyle exclaimed, backing away from the crowd extremely displeased.

"Maybe because you are," Craig smirked, flipping Kyle off.

Kyle shook his head and left, searching thoroughly for his friend. He searched upstairs and in the bedroom, before he remembered that Wendy couldn't come tonight. Kyle didn't drink but Stan did. Stan was a fucking horrendous drunk, he hit people and he swore and he generally became a huge, huge douche.

"Well FUCK YOU!" Kyle heard a slurred shout coming from the kitchen.

Turning on his heel Kyle swung round and all but sprinted into Token's huge kitchen just as Stan whirled a glass towards Craig's head.

Craig ducked and the glass shattered like a bomb going off, full of tiny little things you thought were a good idea when you were drunk but actually weren't.

"Fuck Stan," Craig raised a middle finger and Stan grabbed for another glass.

"Stan!" Kyle exclaimed, ripping the glass from his hand.

Stan wasn't going to go down that easily, he flailed about as Kyle attempted to restrain his best friend by hooking his arm under Stan's and then pulled them backwards. Stan thrashed violently.

"What did you say to him?!" Kyle cried to Craig who shook his head.

"I told him the bobble on his hat was stupid and he threw a fucking glass at me!"

Kyle sighed, shaking his head as he ripped Stan from the room. Heaving in air, Kyle flung Stan onto the couch.

"Shit Stan, you're drunk again!" Kyle threw his hands up in frustration, watching as Stan swung himself round and wavered slightly. "It'll turn your liver to shit, don't you get that?!"

Stan hiccuped and stared straight past Kyle with a weak smile.

"Come on," Kyle sighed, his bright hair falling into his eyes as he hoisted Stan's arms around his own neck, pulling him drunkenly to his feet.

"Kyle," Stan moaned drunkenly, "You're my friend best,"

Kyle sighed as Stan jabbed his sharp finger into his 'friend best's' shirt. He gagged slightly and Kyle blanched, turning his head away.

This always happened, Stan got drunk, abused someone for no reason, abused Kyle for no reason, told him how much he loved him, passed out and Kyle had to drag him home. Kyle wasn't weedy like most people thought. Bookish, smart and weedy. That was the stereotype. He wasn't though, he made sure to keep his body in good condition and he still played baseball occasionally but he traded the majority of other sports he used to like in favour of books.

"Seriously Kyle," He gurgled, "Man I like, I like love you,"

"You're so drunk," Kyle muttered, beginning to drag Stan from the room his feet trailing along the carpet.

"Fuck you Kyle! I am _so_ drunk!" Stan laughed to himself, Kyle was pretty sure Stan had no idea that he had just left out the 'not' of his denial. "Thank you Kyle,"

Kyle sighed, looking down at Stan whose head was bowed. Cautiously he lifted it from his friends chest, staring up at Kyle with large, cerulean eyes.

"Shut up Stan," Kyle snuffled, dismissing the same thing he heard every time Stan had more than three beers.

Abruptly, Kyle felt Stan smash into him, his lips pressing into his face. Kyle widened his large, browny, green eyes in shock as Stan raised a hand to cup his face, parting Kyle's pale pink lips and slipping his tongue into the unresponsive mouth.

Twenty seconds later Stan stopped, wiping his mouth as he gagged again. Kyle wrinkled his nose and then sighed, raising an eyebrow and then slipping his arm around his friend and hobbling out of the house with him.

This happened more then Kyle liked to recall, Stan always being blindingly drunk and Kyle always being unnervingly sober.

"I'm gonna hit you when you're sober," He muttered under his breath.

Suddenly Stan stopped, staring at Kyle with fear in his eyes, every muscle of his body tensing up. At first Kyle thought he was going to throw up.

"Please don't tell Wendy," Stan pleaded.

Kyle laughed, shaking his head, pulling on his bright green hat as the approaching the front door.

Grabbing Stan's coat, Kyle wrapped it around the swaying boy, pulling him closer by the shoulders to keep him still, Stan retched again and then audibly swallowed with a small smile. Sensing danger rapidly approaching, Kyle yanked Stan's puff ball hat down over the drunk boys head until it reached his eyes and made a swift exit from the huge house as Stan tottered, messily by his side.

Kyle's arm never left Stan's shoulder.


End file.
